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In Da Hizouse Dec. 15th, 2010 @ 12:30 pm
jeeperstseepers: Apparently referring to a person in authority in the third person when talking to them is not just a Jewish thing.
jeeperstseepers: I was awfully confused when my student who was here before referred to "the professor." After the second time, I realized she was talking about me and not asking a general question about how professors do things.
SNeaker328: Wow.
jeeperstseepers: She's Polish.
SNeaker328: That explains it.
jeeperstseepers: And she does the stupid commas-instead-of-decimals thing that makes it a bitch to grade exams.
SNeaker328: There's gotta be a Polish joke in there somewhere.
jeeperstseepers: Hee
SNeaker328: And I could make it, because I'm of Polish descent. So ha.
SNeaker328: Represent.
jeeperstseepers: Poland in da house
SNeaker328: Holla.

Glee- Write 2x09 Dec. 9th, 2010 @ 10:08 am
Right, so yet another episode of Glee has frustrated me to the point that I ended up doing a re-write. Not this past week's silly Christmas episode, but the episode from the week before. Dunno if any of you are interested, but just in case, I'm posting it here and I'm putting the rest under a cut in case any of you are behind on the show.

Glee-write for 2x09, Special EducationCollapse )

Glee-Write 2x02 Sep. 29th, 2010 @ 07:01 am
For my next trick, I will re-write the latest episode of Glee by making it...not happen at all. Because it was a steaming pile of suck.

The only thing I would do is pull the absolutely brilliant Cut for SpoilerCollapse ).

Glee, As Done By Me Sep. 28th, 2010 @ 11:52 am
I’ve had strange relationships with TV shows before. As many of you know, in the final years of both Buffy and Angel, I continued to be obsessed with both shows, but all of the love I’d had for them had turned into hate. I didn’t “love to hate” them, since I hated hating them, but I also couldn’t stop watching. It was weird. And annoyed a lot of people.

With Glee, it’s different. I love the show and I’m completely obsessed with it (to the level of reading fanfic, although that’s mostly just smutty Puck stuff because, rowr, Puck.) And I hate it. Simultaneously. The level of hate I sometimes feel for it is, of course, directly proportionate to how much I sometimes love it. If I didn’t love some of it so much, I couldn’t also hate it as fiercely.

The main issues are twofold: First is the wasted potential. The show has the promise of being awesome; a genius black comedy musical spectacle drama in the style of Moulin Rouge with a little more happy optimism and a little less disease and death. Tonally, they claim it’s a happy, good-hearted show about flawed, but generally well-intentioned people; but more often it feel like the show is actually a mean-spirited one about terrible people who occasionally do something nice by accident.

The other problem is the show’s popularity -- not just with fans, but with critics. The slavish praise and accolades (and awards) the show receives just make the problems with it that much more stark for me.

And there are soooooo many problems. Too many to really go into here in one entry, but at the top of the pile is the completely illogical, irrational, and inconsistent behavior of the characters from week to week. It drives me batty. Fans of the show get very sensitive to criticism, and often fight back that this isn’t a show that where one should expect “gritty realism.” Well no, of course it isn’t. Neither is Leverage, but that show manages to be fun and silly and completely ridiculous while still sticking to the rules of the game within the silly world it’s created. On Leverage you can get a pretty good handle on the characters, who don’t need to swing around wildly in personality just to fit that week’s set list.

And the thing is – it’s so easy to fix. All it takes is a bit of time and care, but the writing for this show is, too often, just plain sloppy and lazy. On the other hand, when it’s not sloppy and lazy, it can be brilliant. Like, I’ll think of certain scenes on the train and just start grinning like an idiot. It’s confusing and frustrating. The end result is that I’m not willing to stop watching and give up the good because of the bad. Instead, I constantly feel this urge to just…fix it.

So I considered doing a re-write of the entire first season, but I ended up being way too lazy to do it. I still have a bunch of stuff rewritten in my head, but I doubt I’ll ever put it to paper because it’s too overwhelming at this point.

The second season started last week, though, and of course right there in the first episode -- which was overall pretty decent -- were some major glaring problems. So, figuring it’s easier to do this episode by episode, I went ahead and fixed them for my own sanity, and I’m posting it here in case anyone feels the same frustration I do.

Glee-Write for 2x01, Audition Collapse )

Insert Relevant Spaceballs Quote Here Aug. 13th, 2010 @ 11:09 am
So I think I deserve some kind of award for managing to keep a completely straight face whilst having the following conversation with my boss.

(In regards to our out-of-order shredder.)

Mr. Boss Man: Did you call tech support? What did they say?
Me: They said we should try to use a vacuum to clean out the underside of the motor.
MBM: Can we get a vacuum from the building?
Me: Yes, but their vacuums don't have hose attachments. We need a hose. Or maybe we could try a dust buster.
MBM: What if I brought in a fan? Do you think that would work?
Me: I don't think so. It...kind of does the opposite.
MBM: Oh. You think it needs to suck or to blow?
Me: It needs to suck.
MBM: Not blow.
Me: No, not blow.
MBM: So we need something that will suck.
Me: ...Yes.
Other entries
» At Least No One Carded Me
I spent this past Shabbos in New Jersey at the home of the aunt and uncle whose daughter got married last Sunday and met many new people at the meals from the groom's side of the family. I had variations on this conversation at least three times.

Them: Where did you go to High School?
Me: Um. Shulamith?
Them: Oh, nice. What are you studying?
Me: Oh, I work.
Them: Oh. Did you go to Israel for Seminary?
Me: Yep.
Them: Which school?
Me: Oh, it was called "Bnos Rochel" but it closed down a long time ago.
Them: It...what?
Me: It was only open for a short time and closed the year after mine. This was ages ago.
Them: But...but...how old are you?
Me: Thirty-one.
Them: *chokes*

Heh. I do enjoy the looks on people's faces. I don't really think I look *that* young (College age? Really?) but in the Orthodox community I think just having non-covered hair automatically makes a person seem younger. To demonstrate (for those not on Facebook), here are a couple of pictures of me wearing the aforementioned newly wedded cousin's wig. Obviously the darker hair also adds to the aging effect, but I think if I wore a wig closer to my own color I'd still immediately look a good 5-10 years older -- which is to say, my age. In trying on other wigs throughout my life I had always thought that I'd look terrible and washed out in dark hair, but with this style it's actually not bad. Better than my natural color which is ashy and dull. Mostly I once again enjoyed the shocked looks and double takes from my family when they saw me in it. I'm so easily amused.

I think it's a bit Rachel Berry. Maybe if I wear it, Puck will want to do me.
» Mmm...Nutella.
So I'm back from my trip to Europe.

What trip to Europe? The one I only just realized I never mentioned here. Oops.

So Tseeps and I went on a two-week trip I nicknamed "Fritzelux," because it included parts of France, Switzerland, and Luxembourg. We also ended up adding about a half hour in Germany, so maybe it should have been "Fritzegermelux." The first leg was the French Riviera, basing ourselves in Nice. Then we detoured to Geneva and Basel for a few days before basing ourselves in Strasbourg to explore the Alsace-Lorraine region as well as Luxembourg. It was nice. It was...not our best trip. Remember how so many things went wrong before the trip to London/Belgium and how everything just ended up working out? Yeah, not so much on this trip. No trip ever goes off without a hitch, but this one seemed hitchier than normal and all the little crises and the crankiness tended to weigh us down. Hotels lied to us about their amenities. Things were forgotten. Things were lost. People and things we hoped to see were not seen.

Which isn't to say it was bad; some parts were super awesome (including the Best Museum Ever in Basel) some parts were relaxing (mostly on Shabbos) and we of course had those moments of hysterical, uncontrollable laughter. We learned that in France, every place that produces or sells something becomes an "erie." You've heard of boulangeries and pattisseries, but we also saw couscouseries, bagageries, biscuiteries, etc. We discovered that, quite awesomely, Geneva and Basel have fountains with clean drinking water pretty much everywhere you look so you never have to buy bottled water. We found AMAZING kosher croissants with Nutella in them in Strasbourg. We walked to Germany and back in less than an hour. We met a cute, smart, interesting Jewboy whom we will never see again. We "french-kissed" about 10 other girls. We ate green flan. We slept with Jesus.

Um. So anyway! I don't know if I'm going to manage a full trip log like the last couple, but if I do it'll probably take me a while. I took over 3,000 pictures and it'll be hard to narrow them down. Because I hate most of them. It's a combination of often being too tired to try to get a good shot, not being that great a photographer to begin with, and the fact that, as I just discovered, my lens was smudged for most of the trip. Also, judging by pictures, I'm awkward, hunchbacked, and a bit ugly. I got some nice pictures of Tseeps because she makes a great model and I think I *am* actually pretty good at people shots, but she probably won't let me post most of them because she doesn't like the way she looks. Because she's crazy.

If I don't do a full trip log, I hope to at least do something smaller where I post a few picture highlights and tell some stories. In the meantime, here's a picture of us doing the Can-Can in Cannes to tide you over.

» Effing Beautiful Season
A Poem: By Me, written on the subway this morning

"The Heartache of Spring"

Gifts of green leaves, cherry blossoms blooming
Tulips spring out from their roots
But Spring brings no joy to this girl every year
'cuz it's too cold for sandals, too hot for boots

Blessed with long sunlit days, for we sprung up ahead
It's late when we light Shabbos candles
But for me longer days mean more stressful hours
That are too hot for boots, too cold for sandals

Heel liners just scratch me, band-aids don't help
Cute flats are totally moot
Hundreds of dollars thrown out in the search
For a shoe neither sandal nor boot

I sit on the subway, surveying the crowd
Some read kindles, another panhandles
None seem to share in my suff'ring and woe
That it's too hot for boots, too cold for sandals

My toes squeezed to death while my heels pop on out
Up my shins the pain frequently shoots
Cursed be these beautiful days!
When it's too cold for sandals, too hot for boots

Oh, some rue the day that Franco took Spain
Or Rome was sacked by the Vandals
Me? I just rue these lovely Spring days
When I can't wear my boots or my sandals
» Look Up "Hypocrisy" in the Dictionary
I'm sorry, but I am incensed.

Palestinians Riot to Protest Synagogue Reopening

Is this Synagogue in Gaza? The West Bank? Is it even in the Arab neighborhoods of East Jerusalem? No, it is not. It is in the Old City of Jerusalem, in the main square of the Jewish Quarter. The synagogue is one of many that the Jordanians destroyed (after promising not to) when the Israelis lost East Jerusalem to the Jordanians in the '48 War of Independence and all of the Jews were evacuated from the Old City and *barred* from entering it -- which meant that from 1948 until 1967 Jews could not even go to the Western Wall, Judaism's holiest site. By contrast, when the Israelis gained control of the Old City and East Jerusalem in 1967, they handed control of the Temple Mount (where the Dome of the Rock and Al Aqsa Mosque are) to the Arab Waqf. In the years since Israel has had control, Muslims have been able to pray peacefully on the Temple Mount, (whereas if Jews like Ariel Sharon even *walk* on it it starts an Intifada), their sacred shrines and mosques protected by Israel.

"In a speech Monday in Syria, senior Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal said Palestinians need to take to the streets to protect Jerusalem and its Islamic and Christians shrines."


You're rioting like lunatics over the opening of a Synagogue and claiming that *your* shrines need to be protected? Your shrines *are* protected, you stupid, fucking bastard. You're the ones reacting violently to the re-opening of a historic synagogue (originally built in the 1700s) that your people destroyed for no reason other than pure hatred.

"He also warned the international community that Israel is "playing with fire" that could lead to a regional blowup."

By opening a Synagogue? How stupid are people to give any credence to this shit?
» How I Met Matt Bomer
A comment on my last post reminded me that I never told you all about how I met Matt Bomer. Some of you saw the pics on Facebook, but I never actually told the whole story.

For those who don't even know who Matt Bomer is...what Matt Bomer is, is HOT. Scorchingly, achingly, jaw-droppingly hot. So hot, one wonders how the universe doesn't implode from that much hotness being contained in one human being. It's just not normal. It's not *natural.* How can it be? But it is.

Don't believe me? Behold.

Hubbah. Hubbah. And that picture doesn't even show his shocking blue eyes.

Matt first caught my attention when he played Bryce Larkin on Chuck. I was struck by his looks of course, but in only a few episodes scattered throughout the first two seasons, I also grew to love the character and was really sad when it became clear he wouldn't be returning for the third season. What was great about Bryce was that, he was this super-cool, super-hot spy (whom Chuck always compared himself unfavorably to) but he was also a genuinely good guy who cared about Chuck and didn't act entitled or arrogant. One thing the show does well is take characters you should hate (because they're so perfect) and refusing to bow to cliches so that characters like Bryce, Awesome, and Cole are all likable when they really shouldn't be.

Matt's character on his new show White Collar is similar in that, despite his looks and his charm (and his amazing wardrobe which hangs on him in a way that makes you think clothing didn't know what to do with itself before it met Matt Bomer) he manages to come off as a sweet person you can't help but love. His character is a high-class thief who's allowed out of prison (albeit with a tracking anklet) in order to work with the FBI to catch white collar criminals, and his partner Peter (played by Tim Dekay) is the agent who caught him. Neal is far more vulnerable and warm-hearted than Bryce and the show's strength is the fabulous relationship between him and Peter. Some have called it a "bromance" but I see it as more of a father/son vibe. Anyway, it's adorable. The second best thing about the show is that it films in New York, and goes to great pains to highlight the city as much as possible. It's like NYC porn. Some time ago, Tseeps and I joked that we should scout their filming locations and go stalk them.

A few days later, I met Matt Bomer.Collapse )
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